What is a grasshopper?
An insect on a pogo stick!

What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?
A grasshover!

Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper!

What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A grasshopper with hiccups!

What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
Chimney Cricket!