Q: What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog?
A: Chump chops!

Q: How many seasons are there in a dogs life?
A: Just one, the moulting season!

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come!

Q: Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
A: Because they mess up the whole house!

Q: How do you stop a dog smelling?
A: Put a peg on it's nose!

Q: What is the best time to take a Rottweiler for a walk?
A: Any times he wants to!

Q: When is a black dog not a black dog?
A: When it's a greyhound!

Q: How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?
A: Melon-collie!

Q: What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?
A: Hush puppies!

Q: What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
A: Slush puppies!