There once was a lonely guy who bought a bird. The pet store
manager said that the bird was a special bird and could sing, but
only if you lit a match or lighter under his wings.

The guy took the bird home and lit a match under the birds right
wing and it began singing Jingle Bells. Then he lit a match under
its left wing and it started to sing Silent Night.

Just to see what the bird would do, the man lit a match under the
birds balls and it began singing Chestnuts Roasting On an Open
Fire.