It can buy a house, but not a home.
It can buy a bed, but not sleep.
It can buy a clock, but not time.
It can buy you a book, but not knowledge.
It can buy you a position but not respect.
It can buy you medicine but not health.
It can buy you blood but not life.
It can buy you sex but not love.
So you see money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering.

I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend, I want to take away your pain and suffering. So, send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

I accept cash, money orders, personal cheques, cashiers cheques,bags of gold, bars of platinum, etc...

Please: No children as payments. They will be returned.