David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank, "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.

"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".

"Yes" replies Beckham "you should have my details on your computer".

"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call Posh Spice for you?"

"Why do I need help?" asks Beckham.

The receptionist replies "Well David, it says on your record that you're a useless w....ker"